I like walking alone in the city. I am able to stop on a whim, peer in store windows, inhale odors of exotic, ethnic foods, surreptitiously people watch during my stroll.
It’s a beautiful, early February afternoon and I’m wandering through the city’s arts district. I watch as one young man places his sculpture in a window. Two faces, deliberately unfinished, emerge from a block of stone. The male, a fine self-portrait of the artist in rapture; the female, a willing, but conflicted, recipient of his love. My heart knows it is no accident that the woman he has immortalized is my beloved wife.
(Photo by Claire Fuller, Friday Fictioneers, February 1, 2013.)
Dear V.B.
It seemed like a pleasant well written site seeing tour until that head snapping ending. Nice one!
Shalom,
Rochelle
This started out as just that–a pleasant afternoon stroll. Somehow ended up on the sad side. Thanks for the comment, Rochelle–you and Claire chose a good one.
Yes, nice ambling style…and suddenly…! Wonderful story.!
Thanks, Pirate–it was the expressions on their faces that got me.
Wow, that was a really strong ending. I really didn’t see it coming. Your’s was the first story I’ve read so far that saw the two as lovers.
And for me, there was no other way to interpret your wonderful sculpture–thanks for the great prompt (which really did get a variety of interesting and creative responses).
ouch. That would hurt.
I fear it would–especially if he had no clue (I suspect he’s a solitary soul so, perhaps, did not).
Really? Wow!
Thanks!
Not sure “Wow!” would have been his immediate response, but you never know–Thanks for visiting and commenting.
Nicely Written.
Thanks, enjoyed (if I can say that under the circumstances) yours, too.
oh no, nice twist.
The ending was a surprise to me as well–I was aiming for tranquility.
Whoa.. Totally unexpected ending.. Great story.
Thanks, Liked the irony in your ending.
A really powerful ending there – quite transfixing in fact. Imagine seeing something like that…
It would be a bit of a shock–especially if, as I mentioned before, he was a bit out of it and this was his first clue. Life socks it to you, sometimes. Sounds like you’re on the move–have a great trip.
OOOhhh cool ending — and that is how the novel began
Now there’s an idea…I always read the end of a book after the first few pages so writing the ending first would be a natural for me. Thanks, Sabio!
“My heart knows it is no accident that the woman he has immortalized is my beloved wife.” Wow, what a killer and completely unexpected ending that had. Excellent story!
Many thanks–I liked your take on the prompt. Never would have thought of conjoined twins but the sculpture could definitely fit your theme.
The last line changes the whole scene!
He must love his wife a lot to recognize her from that unfinished piece. Or maybe he is just too doubting of her, and it could be any other face?
Nice story!
Definitely hers!
Very chilling end for any man… But a great twist in the story.
Wait until the artist’s SO gets a look–she thought this was a portrait of her.
Ouch! Excellent twist but not from his point of view obviously.
janet
Actually, he’s a rather shy and withdrawn type who never guessed his wife’s sculpture classes were private lessons held in the artist’s studio.
That’s a great twist at the end. You played it really well. Like a punch in the gut to the main character.
I’m afraid it was–have to see how he reacts after he has a chance to think about all this..
but would he begrudge her immortality, if only in stone?
I really enjoyed this one. There is such a story behind this, of need and sorrow at the cost of joy.
Why do I have a feeling his wife’s immortality is not the primary issue on his mind? I’m afraid he has little joy right now.
Really excellent story. It engaged all the senses. It set a ‘comfortable’ mood that was too cruelly destroyed.
I’m going to steal ideas from you.
Ann
Many thanks for the great compliment–I’m sure my ideas were gleaned from a variety of sources before they found space in my subconscious storeroom.
Great twist at the end, and he seems so resigned to it. Not unexpected perhaps? Good job.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/hephaestus-wedge/
It’s his personality–not sure how he’ll react when he gets home.
love the twist at the end – a great story.
Suspect it’s a twist few of us anticipate in real life.
Lucy! You have some ‘splaining to do! Man would I be making a beeline home for the inquisition. Luckily I have no conern for this with my love.
Lucy would not have a chance! And you are lucky.
Hi V.B.,
Your story lures us in nicely with the pleasant stroll nicely described. Then you spring that shocking ending. Ron
It was a nice day when I wrote this–don’t know what happened at the end.
Absolutely CRUSHING!
It would be, indeed.
I especially enjoyed the way you were able to create such movement in the character’s walk. Nice piece.
A great twist to wonderful story
http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2013/02/01/fridayfictioneers-janus
I suspect the twist is not yet over.
A suffering heart that loves.
Not sure the heart was suffering before he saw the sculpture, but it certainly is now.
Uh-oh! I wonder what happens next? It won’t be pretty.
A lot of possibilities, but you are right, not one is pretty.
You got me. Loved the plot twist at the end. Well done.
Many thanks–you’ve got quite a twist at the end of yours.
Loved the twist at the end. Freaky.
The freaky part comes after he gets home.
Dear VB,
Welcome back to the bus. Your story is the start of a great mystery. There is a possible murder in the offiing, of the wife of the artist, i’m not sure. Either way it was a great tale that leaves us wanting more.
Aloha,
Doug
A murder, a suicide, destruction of the sculpture, a sad man who goes on living his solitary life and never allows himself to acknowledge the truth, etc., etc., etc. Thanks, Doug.
I’m intrigued and want to know more – ‘Two faces, deliberately unfinished.’ This is a beautifully written, but I’m not sure whether your MC is experiencing a positive or negative event.
Don’t think it’s positive, no matter how he treats it.
Nice twist at the end. Well told. The writing had that I am taking a stroll kinda feel to it. Nice work.
Tom
I’m pleased to know the stroll part was effective–that was the original mood I was seeking. Somehow, went off the track at the end.
I would like to post 3 of your Sammys with lexicon this Wednesday for my guest post. I would need your gravatar with wp address, 4-6 line bio(boost your book too) and the 3 stories sent as jpegs. Let me know if interested ASAP.
Hi Carl,
I’d love to be included on your “I Know I Made You Smile” blog but I can’t convert typed copy into jpegs–they are blurry. I can put them into pdfs or send them as straight copy. Let me know if either of these alternatives will work. Many thanks for asking me–it’s an honor.
Yes I think I can print from attachment to email and download pdf. Then I can modify to fit in blog space if necessary. Got any type of picture to use as Sammy ?
I’ve sent you a couple of emails (with a pencil sketch and one story) to dagostino7@gmail.com–is this your correct address? I’ll send a pdf with three stories and the jpeg sketch if this is the correct address, otherwise, let me know where I should send them. Again, my thanks, Carl–
Not a good way to find out your spouse is cheating on you and he really should purchase and leave on the coffee table at home
I am number 91 this week
Great idea–that should change the playing field.
Address correct. Glad you will participate !