“The Note”

Suction from the blast
Lifted the note
From the man’s desk
And carried it through space
Now void of offices
And conference rooms.
Space where humans
Had been occupied
On their computers
On their cells
Around the coffee machine.
A swirl of thick grey smoke
Filled with the detritus
Of American accomplishment
Caught the single sheet
And spun it
Like the spider
Spins its web
In circles
Around the center vacuum
Where it finally
Fell to earth.
Days later
It was discovered
And read:
“Trapped in South Tower .
My undying love
To Sara, John and Susie.
From your husband
And father

(Inspired by Rochelle Wisoff  Fields’ photo, madison-woods.com, September 14, 2012; and John Breunig’s “Father’s note changes family’s 9/11 account”, Stamford Advocate, September 10, 2012.)

This entry was posted in Flash Fiction, Micro Fiction, Poetry, Short Fiction, Short Story and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to “The Note”

  1. claireful says:

    Incredibly moving and beautifully written.

  2. Very powerful and timely!

  3. stuff I said says:

    beautifully written, enjoyed it.

  4. boomiebol says:

    Very well written!!!

  5. billgncs says:

    strong and powerful…. the detritus of American accomplishment…
    the finish hits hard. liked it very much

  6. flyoverhere says:

    I knew from the beginning, the note that inspired you! Very appropriate and well done!

    • vbholmes says:

      I started this blog with the intention of writing short stories and poems inspired by current news items. Along the way, I began to respond to organized prompts as I enjoy reading the different reactions to them. This is the first time I’ve used a current news story as well as one of the prompts and I liked the double challenge. Glad you recognized my source–I didn’t want to replicate the original note, or approach the story from the same angle, but I did try for a similar feel.

  7. Carrie says:

    As soon as I began reading I had this sense it was about 9/11. Beautiful poem and such a touching ending.

  8. Jan Brown says:

    Very moving. An amazing story and a wonderful tribute.

  9. unspywriter says:

    A wonderful acknowledgement of the occurrence, and, I believe, based on a true story, no?

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/tangled-webs/

  10. vbholmes says:

    It is–I included a link following the post which hooks into the original article which appeared in the Stamford [CT] Advocate. I’ve enjoyed the return to my roots (please check out my reply to “flyoverhere”above). Thanks!

  11. Russell says:

    I had to look up detritus, which was good for me. I learned a new word – and I really like the way you used it. Jan Morrill’s blog touched on this same theme earlier in the week. When we face the end, all we really want to do is tell our loved ones how very much we love them. Great poem.

  12. Sandra says:

    Touching and topical. Very moving.

  13. Deeply touching. Kind of makes me want to scream.

  14. vbholmes says:

    The horror of 9/11 is still with us all. Thanks for visiting–I enjoyed your “The First Time”..

  15. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear VB,

    This one was worth the wait. Arriving late, glad i did. Well said.



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