“Missing You”

I just smelled a smell
It reminded me of you
Feelings rose again
Remnants of a love once true.

I just heard a song
Happy words of happy days
Filled with parties, trips
Orchestra, ballet and plays.

I just touched a frog
A dare from days together
Walks in fields and woods
No mind to what the weather.

I just drank a beer
In a bar next to the sea
Friends, discourse, laughter
Times alone, just you and me.

I just saw a girl
She reminded me of you
Feelings rose again
Shackles of a love still true.

(Written for dVersepoets, Poetics, December 1, 2012.)

This entry was posted in Flash Fiction, Micro Fiction, Poetry, Short Fiction, Short Story and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to “Missing You”

  1. nice..so many things can remind us of the people we miss…i like that you include a scent as well…science says that scents go directly into our emotional center without passing the brain first..so always a direct and unexpected hit..

    • vb holmes says:

      Thanks for commenting, Claudia. Actually, this includes all five senses (my love of corn tempted me to title this “I Sense You Are Gone” but my aversion to ridicule axed that).

  2. Sabio Lantz says:

    Yeah! Longer lines!

    Fun rhyming. Great message of the shackles — and very fine memories for the shackles.

    I am not usually a fan of repeated words in a line.

    So, if I may venture into poetry blog tabboo: I imagine your first two lines like this:

    Ah, a lovely fragrance
    just reminded me of you

    Really, very lovely and meaningful poem. Thanx

    • vb holmes says:

      Many thanks for the comment and the suggestion–I considered parenning “For Sabio” after the title as this is an atypical-for-me-at-the-moment long-line poem prompted by your short-line poem poll. Enjoyed your erasure piece–interesting device.

  3. brian miller says:

    nice..you incorporate all those tangible things that link memories in our heads…the smells…nice, i dont think many did that in theirs….you touch each though in this…i like the frog stanza, it jumps out at me…

  4. vb holmes says:

    Thanks, Brian–the frog incident is a real-life memory (except it was a snake and I can still feel that cold, quivering body when I close my fist in recollection).

  5. Made me remember last week walking past a fragrant hedge that also grew in my grandparents yard and being instantly back there. So much to remind us of loved ones now gone. Thanks for stopping by my blog.

  6. Pat Hatt says:

    It’s the little things that truly take hold and remind us of those we miss, great write!

  7. ManicDdaily says:

    YOu explore all those Proustian interlocks. Well done. k.

  8. I love the combination of experiences…from the refined cultural experiences to the touching a frog to drinking a beer…all very common and yet that is what we feel and remember.

  9. vb holmes says:

    Most, if not all, of my memories are triggered by, or accompanied by, one or more of the senses– Powerful stimulants those five built-ins.

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