Sammy, The Gat: “Jingle My Tingles”

(Glossary at end. Click for Sammy, the Gat, catch-up.)

The dame with the derringer arrows it at a slow-cruisin’ letch-stretch. I get in. And out. Then Belinda slow-dances me down a hall of mirrors to a big-label flyin’ coffin nail.
“Who’s the mark?” I ask, as she slams me a single-shirt skivvies case and plants a peck on my day-old.
“Later,” she purrs, and I sport clap-zappers up and down the old bod. I finger her one-word for two upcomin’s: the pop job and the welcome-home. And they both jingle my tingles.
I stop noodlin’ my gold-star Bingo bonus and start splittin’ the grays over the odds of this space-chasin’ hauserstick fallin’ outta the air.

(Click for previous Sammy, the Gat stories.)

THE GATIONARY of Sammy Speak
arrows it: v. points to.   Bingo bonus: n. future reward.   bod: n. body.
clap-zapper: n. emotional response.   day-old: n. beard; stubble.
derringer: n. gun.   finger: v. to identify.
letch-stretch: n. long limousine.   mark: n. target.   noodle: v. think about.
one-word: n. short answer.   peck: n. kiss.   pop job: n. assassination.
big-label flyin’ coffin nail: n. commercial airplane.
single-shirt skivvies case: n. overnight suitcase.   slam: v. to give.
slow-dance: v. to walk slowly.   space-chasin’ hauserstick: n. jet plane.
splittin’ the grays: v. think about.   upcomin’: n. future event.

(Photo by Rich Voza, Friday Fictioneers, December 7, 2012.)

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38 Responses to Sammy, The Gat: “Jingle My Tingles”

  1. I do believe as old as I am I may very well be learning this new language I read this with only one not understanding LOL ….Love this:)

  2. I only had to check the Gationary a couple times. What does that mean??? “Jingle my tingles”? Too funny. Good luck, Sammy.

  3. Yousei Hime says:

    Wow! Where’s my zoot suit? That was so much fun. Thanks for visiting.

  4. Gatastical verbiage trending now. The past is prologue.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    • vb holmes says:

      “Gatastical verbiage”–goes into Sammy’s “future use” file.. And “the past is prologue” definitely demands contemplation. Thanks for the good comments, Doug!

  5. Thanks for the English translations, VB. Letch stretch? That one certainly leaves room for interpretation.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

    • vb holmes says:

      My brain has stored movie images of all sorts of nefarious goings-on in the backs of limousines (I guess they override the less provocative wedding, high-school prom, guys-night-in Atlantic-City limo rides, ergo: the “letch”). Thanks, Rochelle!

  6. Sandra says:

    I can almost get through without referring to the glossary now! Well done.

  7. Hi V.B.,
    This jingled my tingles. Ron

  8. rich says:

    i have trouble reading this because i feel like a kid trying to learn to ride a bike. i end up having to read and re-read each sentence. something in my brain has trouble focusing. clearly not your fault, no fault at all. just something in my head that wants to read each phrase and decipher it and inspect it, and it interrupts the flow of the story for me. maybe i should read all the vocabulary first, then read the story.

    • vb holmes says:

      We have to add a couple (maybe more) of Sammy originals to your slang vocabulary, Rich. Thanks for struggling through–from some of your other comments I have guessed that you have the soul of an editor as well as of a writer and Sammy’s a linguistic and grammatical wasteland for a purist. Hope you’ll hang in, I enjoy your comments.

  9. Parul says:

    Whoa!
    This is very interesting! Have to go back and forth quite a bit while reading, but it keeps hooked!
    A nice, well paced scene

  10. STEVE E says:

    No trouble at all, to read. Must have birthed from the same century. AND…I’m sure glad the space-chasin’ hauserstick didn’t go down in flames–grin! OR you might not be here to entertain you…and us! Thank you, interesting stuff.

    • vb holmes says:

      Can’t take Sammy out yet–too much fun. And he’s happy to have found a conversational compatriot–a fella gets lonely having to depend on a gationary for mutual comprehension.

  11. I’m just as ferklempt as ever. I think that’s how it’s spelled. If not, ask the gal with the purple addiction.

  12. It’s kind of like when I first read Clockwork Orange. But then it’s just like riding a bike. Smooth story.

    • vb holmes says:

      Love the comparison–I’d forgotten about Anthony Burgess’ unique lingo and the fact that it was easy to read once you got used to it. Thanks for reminding me–and for the bike-riding reference.

  13. unspywriter says:

    And Sammy entertains yet again! The only critique I have is that “coffin nail” is Southern slang for a cigarette, so that threw me off grasping “private label flyin’ coffin nail.” Until I read Gationary, I envisioned a custom-made French cigarette flying through the air. 😉 Hmm. I wonder how that would read in Gat-speak? Let’s hear it for the Sammy the Gat novel in future!

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/the-purge/

    • vb holmes says:

      Thanks for the observation Maggie. I must confess to deliberately choosing coffin nail for its cigarette association. I’ve heard of planes being called flying cigars–as this is a private jet, I wanted a sleek profile (ergo: cigarette vs. cigar) and also liked the ominous sound of the term as Sammy is afraid to fly. (I agree–an awful lot of brain power used to come up with one bit of slang.)

  14. billgncs says:

    ahhh.. what a man will do for a peck on his day old. This is pure enjoyment for me.

  15. brudberg says:

    Great reading, but either Sammy have adopted his lingo or I have started to learn. Great writing.

    • vb holmes says:

      I suspect picking up languages is pretty easy for you as your English appears to be perfect.–I envy you your fluency in languages other than your native Swedish. Thanks for sticking with Sammy and his Sammy Speak.

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