Sammy, the Gat: “Dobbin Bobs His Noggin”

(Sammy, the Gat, is a continuing story.)

(Glossary at end.)

I catch a flash of a Bessie Bossie blackjack and tuck my conk into my armpit as the tortoise in the Michael Kors sparklies connects behind my left cauliflower. I see twinkle-twinkles circlin’, and Marty Crane’s Old Agides is standin’ in a field suckin’ on a water main while Atropos sharpens her twin blades. Dobbin bobs his noggin and squirts H2O on my kisser as Lachesis steps up to bat and remeasures my thread. I float back from the cold on a river of Perrier and contemplate my chances of out-IQin’ the female Pruneface before she long-drops me next to Johnnie and his lily.

THE GATIONARY  of  Sammy Speak

Atropos: n. the one of three Fates who cuts off a mortal’s life (Greek mythology).
Bessie Bossie blackjack: n. leather-bound bludgeon (cow in 1939 children’s book).
cauliflower: n. ear.   cold: n. unconscious state.   conk: n. head, nose (read either one).
female Pruneface: n. old woman (Pruneface is a male Dick Tracy character).
Lachesis: n. the one of three Fates who determines the length of a mortal’s life.
Marty Crane’s Old Agides: n. retired police horse (Frazier TV show).
sparklies: n. rhinestone-studded sneakers.   tortoise: n. little old lady.
twin blades: n. scissors.   twinkle-twinkles: n. stars.   water main: n. hose.

(Click to catch up on Sammy, the Gat)

(Photo by Douglas M. MacIlroy. Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, Friday Fictioneers, March 22, 2013.)

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28 Responses to Sammy, the Gat: “Dobbin Bobs His Noggin”

  1. Although my Sammy-speak is much improved, I still sometimes feel as though I should have paid better attention in my long ago language classes! 🙂

    janet

    • vbholmes says:

      I have spent years trying to learn to speak French with little success (no one can understand me)–maybe my forays into Sammy Speak are an attempt to compensate for my failure.

  2. wonderful rhythm to this piece. love the music in your words.

  3. billgncs says:

    Hi VB, you are right on, sometimes when we get conked, we really do see twinkle-twinkles 🙂

  4. Sandra says:

    This made me laugh (not the least because over here ‘conk’ is another word for ‘nose’). It’s fun trying to see if I can get through without referring to the glossary, but I never do. Well done.

  5. indytony says:

    Very inventive. It brought to my mind “A Clockwork Orange”.

  6. Joe Owens says:

    You are getting very good at this as you continue the theme.

  7. elappleby says:

    Wonderful as usual. I could do with one of these every day as a pick-me-up 😀

  8. julespaige says:

    I did the ol’ step on the rake trick and almost blacked out. Got two black eyes instead.
    Fun addition. Thanks for your nod to ‘Forrest’.

  9. vbholmes says:

    A rake between the eyes can do that–in spades. Glad you side-stepped the twinkle-twinkles.

  10. JackieP says:

    Oh I’ve seen twinkle-twinkles once. Darn that hurt! Always look forward to reading Sammy. Even if sometimes I have to use the glossery. but that’s half the fun!

  11. I always look forward to Sammy and he should beware of old ladies.

  12. Dear VB,
    Sammy’s adventures are always entertaining.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

  13. vbholmes says:

    Thanks, Rochelle.

  14. Hi VB,
    I was able to follow this with only minimal reference to the glossary. Very action-filled tale. Ron

  15. kdillmanjones says:

    Great writing again!

  16. annisik51 says:

    ‘Conk’ would be spelled ‘conques’ in French, if that’s any use to your French learning! Though it doesn’t mean ‘nose’ in the French. It’s from the latin ‘concha’ meaning ‘coquille’ (shell). An emblem associated with St Jacques/John. Conques is also a place in France, been there. Nothing whatsoever to do with your story!

    I liked your style of describing a fight. The language and characters. It is very visual.

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