“The Once-Loved Girl” (A Triolet)

The once-loved girl was found face down
Her hair floating free in the sea.
On Bluebird Beach southwest of town
The once-loved girl was found face down.

Bound by shreds of her pink prom gown
She’d fled from the dance and from me.
The once-loved girl was found face down
Her hair floating free in the sea.

(Written for dVersepoets. Open Link Night 109. August 13, 2013.)

This entry was posted in Flash Fiction, Micro Fiction, Poetry, Short Fiction, Short Story and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to “The Once-Loved Girl” (A Triolet)

  1. MarinaSofia says:

    Oooh chilling – makes me wonder whether the girl was really loved all that well, or merely lusted after.

  2. claudia says:

    oh heck. that made me shiver – what a tragical ending for a young girl – she had the right instinct to flee from him…ugh… i wish she had managed to escape

  3. Creepy and vivid. What a great use of the triolet form!

  4. Oloriel says:

    This was rather scary and haunting, I must say that it is perfectly eerie just as it is and enigmatic,but I would have loved to read a longer story of this 🙂

  5. Mary says:

    Very sad story told, but perfect triolet form!

  6. brian miller says:

    so sad…a bit of crime scene poetry…and you dont answer it for us…we just must confront it ourselves….i found the once loved descriptor quite evocative….

  7. cloudfactor5 says:

    I have to agree with Brian, def crime scene poetry, a sad demise indeed !!

  8. esther says:

    i get the crime scene, but i can feel the sense of freedom in the way you wrote it

  9. Quite a chilling visual picture. Not exactly the prom night one would expect. Once loved, but loved and missed by many.

  10. Eric Alagan says:

    Chilling – not the way to end prom night

  11. Oh … I do get a mix of Crime scene and maybe some Ophelia inspiration here (?)

  12. aprille says:

    Ophelia today, in perfect prosody. The shredded gown like some of those slimy stems that float in water. Kelp in the sea I suppose. Very vivid.

  13. This is a fine triolet – it has the sound and subject matter of an old British broadside. It would make an authentic sounding folk song. Loved it.

  14. So powerful in so small number of words. I loved it! It also reminds me of the painting ‘Ophelia’ by Sir John Everett Millais This link will take you to the painting – it also has a nice little extract about the painting along with a poem. http://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/millais-ophelia-n01506

  15. vb holmes says:

    Thanks for the nice comment and the link to Millais’ “Ophelia”–I didn’t happen to have her story in mind when I wrote the poem but it certainly could have been my inspiration if I’d thought of it.

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