“The Once-Loved Girl” (A Triolet)

The once-loved girl was found face down
Her hair floating free in the sea.
On Bluebird Beach southwest of town
The once-loved girl was found face down.

Bound by shreds of her pink prom gown
She’d fled from the dance and from me.
The once-loved girl was found face down
Her hair floating free in the sea.

(Written for dVersepoets. Open Link Night 109. August 13, 2013.)

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This entry was posted in Flash Fiction, Micro Fiction, Poetry, Short Fiction, Short Story and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to “The Once-Loved Girl” (A Triolet)

  1. MarinaSofia says:

    Oooh chilling – makes me wonder whether the girl was really loved all that well, or merely lusted after.

  2. claudia says:

    oh heck. that made me shiver – what a tragical ending for a young girl – she had the right instinct to flee from him…ugh… i wish she had managed to escape

  3. Creepy and vivid. What a great use of the triolet form!

  4. Oloriel says:

    This was rather scary and haunting, I must say that it is perfectly eerie just as it is and enigmatic,but I would have loved to read a longer story of this 🙂

  5. Mary says:

    Very sad story told, but perfect triolet form!

  6. brian miller says:

    so sad…a bit of crime scene poetry…and you dont answer it for us…we just must confront it ourselves….i found the once loved descriptor quite evocative….

  7. cloudfactor5 says:

    I have to agree with Brian, def crime scene poetry, a sad demise indeed !!

  8. esther says:

    i get the crime scene, but i can feel the sense of freedom in the way you wrote it

  9. Quite a chilling visual picture. Not exactly the prom night one would expect. Once loved, but loved and missed by many.

  10. Eric Alagan says:

    Chilling – not the way to end prom night

  11. Oh … I do get a mix of Crime scene and maybe some Ophelia inspiration here (?)

  12. aprille says:

    Ophelia today, in perfect prosody. The shredded gown like some of those slimy stems that float in water. Kelp in the sea I suppose. Very vivid.

  13. This is a fine triolet – it has the sound and subject matter of an old British broadside. It would make an authentic sounding folk song. Loved it.

  14. So powerful in so small number of words. I loved it! It also reminds me of the painting ‘Ophelia’ by Sir John Everett Millais This link will take you to the painting – it also has a nice little extract about the painting along with a poem. http://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/millais-ophelia-n01506

  15. vb holmes says:

    Thanks for the nice comment and the link to Millais’ “Ophelia”–I didn’t happen to have her story in mind when I wrote the poem but it certainly could have been my inspiration if I’d thought of it.

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