“An Irreverent Hymn to a Failed Heist” (A Kyrielle)

I press my face against the pane
As I repeat “Hands Up” again.
I speak, she does not understand.
The pretty girl extends her hand.

I press my body to the car.
Her exit through the door I bar.
The scheme’s not going as I planned.
The pretty girl extends her hand.

I press my finger to the gun.
She leans toward me, claims I am done.
The cop on call is her husband.
The pretty girl extends her hand.

I press my face against the pane.
The pretty girl extends her hand.

(Written for dVerse Open Link Night, Week 114. September 17, 2013.)

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This entry was posted in Flash Fiction, Micro Fiction, Poetry, Short Fiction, Short Story and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to “An Irreverent Hymn to a Failed Heist” (A Kyrielle)

  1. brian miller says:

    ouch, yeah when you mess with a cops wife, you are pretty well done…just saying….
    and you probably wont be going to court…

  2. Mary says:

    Whew, what a tale you told in this Kyrielle. Really interesting to play with forms, isn’t it? You worked this form well.

  3. Ruth says:

    oh dear… i think his hands are tied, poor man – what’s he to do? 😉
    nice form, the forced repetition works well

  4. Eric Alagan says:

    Never mess with a pretty girl – or she’ll extend her hand – Splat!

  5. Ouch.. that went bad.. cool to use such a lyric form to tell a grizzly story…

  6. claudia says:

    ha – beware of a cop’s wife… not healthy to mess with them..smiles

  7. Gabriella says:

    I enjoyed reading your story through this kyrielle!

  8. Form seems to work as a counterbalance to the text – assault in repetition – felt frightening and out of kilter – well used here in a whole new way. Kudos.

  9. ManicDdaily says:

    This is so much fun. The form and story work well. Feel no obligation, but it reminded me of something I did once in villanelle form–a heist and also a pretty–um–girl. http://manicddaily.wordpress.com/2011/12/22/contrastvillanellesvillain-elle-with-watercolors-and-elephants/

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