“My Life in Six Words” #2

“White dress. War bride. Black dress.”

All in white
I walked
to
and
from
the altar
my high school
sweetheart
clad in
khaki
beaming
by my side.

Nine months
passed
my love
came home
a flag
atop
his wooden suit.

Now
all in black
I walk
to
and
from
the altar
where I pray
for
the soul
of my love
his
fatherless
child
clad in
pink
weeping
by my side.

(Written for dVerse Poets, Open Link Night, Week 129. January 21, 2014.)

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Flash Fiction, Micro Fiction, Poetry, Short Fiction, Short Story and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to “My Life in Six Words” #2

  1. a flag
    atop
    his wooden suit.

    One of your very best characterizations. I would appreciation your adding poem as a comment on my war poem post today as I am not adept at those pingback things and all.

    • vbholmes says:

      Thanks very much, Carl. I’m not exactly a whiz in the blog department but Im sure I can do that. Can you add your poem to your comment on my post as well? I’d like that. Again, thanks for the wonderful compliment.

  2. billgncs says:

    VB – touching and beautiful, but of course I am not surprised.

  3. What a sad story… the wooden suit stanza really captured it all… the short lines really added to the desperate feeling of the story…

  4. kkkkaty1 says:

    that sums up a lot of one’s lifetime, and I suppose if one is able, move on the the next lifetime..keep writing the stories for your daughjter

  5. brian miller says:

    dang…the wood suit stanza…hard
    it all starts and ends so fast…
    the parallel of the first and third stanza
    works really well in this…

  6. claudia says:

    there are way too many lives lost in war and hopes and dreams shattered…

  7. That is harsh and sad. Very well-written…
    -HA

  8. hisfirefly says:

    wooden suit
    got me
    precision in your words here

  9. Mary says:

    Oh, this is so very heart-breaking. The words that you used portrayed the starkness, sadness of the situation. I wonder how many other people’s story this is! Too many, I am sure.

  10. coalkissed says:

    This made me tear up. The “wooden suit” packed a gut punch. Too many people loose their loved ones to wars. Heartbreaking read, but beautiful write!

  11. ayala says:

    Sad and powerful.

  12. alan1704 says:

    Beautiful but painful. Made me think of an old silent movie, that broke my heart. Nicely done.

  13. Morgan says:

    Brilliantly, yet sadly expressed.

  14. Steph says:

    Heartbreaking.. and that is a compliment for your writing.

  15. A Field of Unmarked Graves

    Wave by wave
    in glory they came.
    Menacing bayonets
    glistening in the sun.

    Wash away spilled
    blood my evening rain.
    Over these hills only
    concessional deer still run.

  16. Truedessa says:

    I am with everyone else the “wooden suit” really seals an image..makes the heart ache. A sad poem with truth..

  17. poemblaze says:

    The six words alone are brilliant. Well done. Deep and moving poem.

  18. joanna says:

    moving, indeed. such a tragic story. the six words tell it all.

  19. A haunting piece very nice.

  20. Grace says:

    Short & poignant ~ you move the imagery very well, from happiness to sadness ~

  21. MarinaSofia says:

    Oh, very powerful and touching – and in such a brief space! Well done. It has the haunting quality of a ballad.

  22. grapeling says:

    stunning, really ~

  23. Linda Rogers says:

    This was so bittersweet, especially that line about the wooden flag atop his wooden suit. Ouch!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s