“Let There Be Light….”

Firebolt hot.

Thunderstroke bright.


Octopi ink.

Curtain dropped.

Ancient father covered eyes.
Heroic mother pried them open.
Sky sequins sparkled.
Shadows sheltered.
Solitary sentinels saw.

Day breaks.

(Written for dVerse, Meeting the Bar with Time Travel. June 25, 2015.)

This entry was posted in Flash Fiction, Poetry and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to “Let There Be Light….”

  1. Grace says:

    I love the sounds, from the crackling to the crashing of the day break ~ These lines are my favorite:

    Heroic mother pried them open.
    Sky sequins sparkled.

  2. x says:

    The short lives add a nice energy and accompany the content well. It also makes the longer like.we at and out. They behave a rather archaic feel to them

  3. kanzensakura says:

    Single words or few words per line. This moves like a storm – lightning here and there…sky sequins. Simply and wonderfully marvelous.

    • vbholmes says:

      Thanks for the great comment. I tried to comment on your site, but for some reason, it wouldn’t post. You touched on so many memory triggers: smell, music, soft rain, clover–memories of past loves can bring us quiet joy (or deep sadness) yours sound like happy, peaceful recollections (with, perhaps, a twinge of pain that causes you to keep the memories boxed up and private). Beautifully portrayed.

      • kanzensakura says:

        Thank you for your comment. WP Can be glitchy at times. I had fixed my blog to open it to comments from other blogging platforms. Yesterday, WP allowed 4 spam comments but not yours. How frustrating! Memories are strange things, aren’t they? I’m happy you were able to respond to this. I’ll have to go back an re-check my settings. 🙂

  4. Sanaa Rizvi says:

    This is quite an intriguing piece! Such an energetic flow 😀

  5. Gia says:

    Love this:

    Octopi ink.

  6. Sherry Marr says:

    I love the sound and activity in this poem. Succinct and wonderful to read.

  7. Ah yes.. for me
    in the beginning.. dark..
    then light.. then dance
    or movement.. then song
    or sound.. inspiring movement
    once more.. INfinitey loop *8*
    of NOW.. and somewHere
    along the song and
    dance comes
    scribe alight!..
    with dark
    in LIGHT

  8. Mary says:

    I like the contrasts in this poem. Life and death. Light and dark. I am a bit confused by the ‘clunk’ though, which took me a bit away from the poem a bit before ‘daybreak’ drew me back.

    • vbholmes says:

      I was looking for a final action word to mirror “pop”–the starting and ending sounds being the same: the p sound and the k sound of clunk. As I was fooling around with the literal meaning of “day breaks”, crash described the impact; shatter, the result; clunk, the end of the action when the pieces fall. Also, clunk is not a very pretty word, definitely not poetic, and for some reason, that appealed to me. Thanks for reading and prompting me to explain why I chose clunk.

      • Mary says:

        And thanks for the explanation! I can see you had good reason to choose that particular word; and I can definitely appreciate that.

  9. Really good, those thunderstorms what a moment to relive that moment of your fathers death. The flashes in more ways than one.

  10. Sumana Roy says:

    the sound effect is terrific…

  11. rosross says:

    such power in such economy.

  12. Kathy Reed says:

    Unique poem here..not unusual for thunder to crack at dismal times, but you made this show stopper!

  13. I,too,wondered why you chose ‘clunk’ and you explained it well in your comment to Mary. The title and last stanza are such a clever contrast.

  14. MarinaSofia says:

    Clunk is a good ‘ending’ word, isn’t it? I like your short, pared-down lines, this feeling of just discovering language. Very pre-historic feel to it – and timeless.

  15. DELL CLOVER says:

    Oh my, NICE take on the prompt!

  16. Candy says:

    Beautiful images!

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