“A Bizarre Statue”

A light drizzle discourages visitors from lingering in the plaza where a bizarre statue commemorates my death.
Unplanned and unprovoked, my murder occurred on a dreary day like today. My brilliant lover, whose sculptures were spawned by anger and frustration, crossed the line between creativity and insanity and I, the reliable recipient of his verbal and physical persecution, became the spectral inspiration for his last work.
Originally conceived as a penitent monument to our undying love, his commission morphed into a confession of guilt. The sculpture of my mad lover racing from his sin, my trailing body hand-locked to his ankle, publicly confirms the horror of his act.

(Photo by David Stewart, Friday Fictioneers, February 15, 2013.)

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Flash Fiction, Micro Fiction, Short Fiction, Short Story and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

36 Responses to “A Bizarre Statue”

  1. Oooooooo, nicely done! There’s not one certain aspect that stands out; everything is of a piece. and the matter-of-fact telling works well.

    Just a small thing–I’d either put a space between paragraphs or indent. They just don’t look right to me as is.

    janet

    • vb holmes says:

      Many thanks for the nice comment. I know there’s a way to indent in WordPress but I’ve been too lazy to figure it out. Will do so one of these days.

      • I think you probably just have to space the number of times you want. WordPress is really annoying about things like that. Maybe you have to get the paid version to upgrade to indenting. I’m pretty sure they don’t have it on the free one.

  2. Sandra says:

    The concept of him racing from his sin is quite powerful. I loved the narrative voice in this – as Janet says, very matter of fact. Well done.

  3. Yes this is a powerful write. I did enjoy reading it.

  4. deanabo says:

    This is really good! One of my favorites today!

  5. Jan Brown says:

    Creative and powerful interpretation of the prompt!

  6. JackieP says:

    Nice story. Well not nice, but well written. I mean I liked the story all though it was dark. Ah hell. It was a good take on the picture. 🙂

  7. great hook in that first line.

  8. Abraham says:

    ‘reliable recipient of his verbal and physical persecution’ – great line!

  9. This is one of my favourites so far – really well written and so many phrases to love (in particular, ‘spectral inspiration’ and ‘penitent monument’. Powerfully told. 🙂

  10. It has a very haunting tone to it. I really like it. What a macabre thing to see, if someone knew the true story of it.

  11. Dear VB,
    How dark and horrible. I like the POV you’ve chosen for this. Somehow the voice from beyond the grave adds punch to the story. Good job!
    shalom,
    Rochelle

  12. Imaginative and powerful take on the prompt with poignant undertones. 🙂 Very well written.

  13. vb holmes says:

    Afraid things like this happen–look at the news about Oscar Pistorius in today’s paper.

  14. Parul says:

    This is very interesting.
    Twisted and strange.. but so are humans!
    something like that in real life would have been sensational!

  15. billgncs says:

    condemned by the honesty of his art, a sort of telltale heart! Good one VB

  16. 40again says:

    I knew I would like this from the first sentence. The whole story is there, in such a short piece.. I love the narrative voice anyway and it’s just perfect here. Brilliant
    Dee

  17. vb holmes says:

    Many thanks for the great comment–always appreciate positive feedback.

  18. To actually admitting the guilt after the dead is a quite powerful image, very well told.

  19. vb holmes says:

    Guilt is a powerful force–and very hard to shake off. Thanks for stopping by, Bjorn.

  20. rich says:

    eternal penance. well done. something to consider – “hand-locked” doesn’t need to be hyphenated. however, if it saves you a word, then you’re free to go.

  21. vb holmes says:

    Hi Rich,
    An interesting observation–looks like it might be one word (see: landlocked) but as a compound modifier following a noun, it might sneak under the wire with hyphens. As for my personal take, “hand” modifies “locked”, therefore, right or wrong, I hyphenated them for readability.
    Thanks for commenting, certainly made me think.

  22. Yes narrator voice works here

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s